Is there a place for kindness in leadership?

Dark nights and darker news. It’s as if World Kindness Day each November comes at precisely the right time, reminding us that kindness is exactly what we need to lift our spirits and resilience for the darker months ahead.

It’s interesting that we need a global day to remind us to be kind, but it got me thinking about kindness in the corporate world.

There’s a strong likelihood that because you’re reading this you, like me, believe there is a place for kindness in leadership.

Indeed, I believe two elements, clarity and decency, fundamentally underpin effective leadership. And it’s simply not possible to be decent without kindness, or to achieve clarity without a solid foundation of decency.

“We must establish a personal connection with each other. Connection before content. Without relatedness, no work can occur.”

Peter Block, organizational development author and speaker

It’s been a tough 18 months for everyone. But the challenge I’ve seen isn’t that leaders don’t want to be kind, it’s rather that in a crisis it’s much harder. Just take, for example, how we’ve all been communicating during the pandemic. Showing kindness is by no means impossible, but certainly a lot more difficult in a virtual setting.

Yet it’s exactly when things get tough and stressful, that kindness is even more essential. After all, tough decisions are sometimes a little easier to make (and to accept) when there’s already a culture of trust, respect and yes, kindness.

For some of us being kind comes as naturally as breathing, but I suspect for most of us it requires more effort - particularly when we’re tired or in a tight spot. It requires intention and regular practice.

“The more I practice, the luckier I get.”

Gary Player, South African retired professional golfer

So, if practice makes perfect, where is the best place to start?

Interestingly, it starts in a place that even the kindest of us often overlook… ourselves. For while kindness during times of turmoil can be hard to extend to others, it seems it’s even harder to extend it to ourselves.

But kindness, just like a plane’s oxygen mask, requires us to secure our own before we can help others. And let’s make no mistake, we’re in a seemingly elastic, never-ending emergency with political turmoil, climate injustice and a global pandemic all driving the volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous environment in which we must operate.

As the ancient saying goes ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’. That’s why kindness must start with compassion for ourselves, so we can then find the courage and capacity to extend it to others.