‘Sorry’ isn’t the hardest word. ‘Feedback’ is.
While Elton John may be right that ‘sorry’ seems to be the hardest word to say, it’s ‘feedback’ that seems to be the hardest to hear.
Let’s be honest, feedback is difficult – often bringing discomfort to the giver as much as the receiver.
But with appraisal season upon us, there’s no better time to remind ourselves why feedback is so valuable and how we can get the best from it.
Feedback is simply data
Every system contains feedback. It is rebounding information based on inputs. It’s there to ‘inform’.
Take the human body.
Only eat chocolate all day and the feedback we get is that we put on weight.
Don’t want that feedback?
Stop only eating chocolate. Swap chocolate for protein, and the feedback your body sends will dramatically change.
Feedback is just data, here to inform. It’s what we do with that data that determines its value.
And it's no different at work. Your feedback gives you the data you need to decide where you want to focus your learning.
“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.”
Types of feedback
There is more than one type of feedback: Feedback that helps you improve (developmental feedback) and feedback that reinforces what's already great (motivational feedback).
We spend a lot of time giving and receiving developmental feedback, but motivational is just as valuable.
Karin Mueller, Founder & CEO at Liebfrog
Liebfrog’s CEO, Karin Mueller, on how motivational feedback shaped her career:
“Ten years ago, I never thought I’d be doing what I spend so much time doing today - training, coaching, and facilitating large groups. Leaving the corporate world to set up Liebfrog, forced me to try things beyond my comfort zone – including leading large groups. I had plenty of self doubt but to my surprise participants consistently fed back that they enjoyed working with me and wanted more. And the rest is history.”
But there’s one thing all great feedback has in common: It’s constructive and given with the intention to help, never to blame.
Ask for feedback constantly and give it spontaneously.
The best feedback is timely. It happens when you’ve just done something - not a week, a month, or a year later!
The reason annual appraisals often feel so big and uncomfortable is that, for too many, it’s the only time feedback is given.
Don’t be afraid to proactively seek or give feedback in the moment, because that’s when it’s most helpful.
You don't create a problem by asking for feedback
Your end of year performance review should be like your car’s MOT – it’s an annual check to ensure everything’s safely working as it should.
But if you get a slow puncture the week after your MOT, you don’t ignore it until the following year.
Even if you do, the problem doesn’t go away - it worsens.
The same is true of feedback. You don’t create a problem by asking for it. You simply catch it early, to avoid it worsening or doing permanent damage.
Asking for, or offering, in the moment feedback keeps people safely on track.
Not all feedback is created equal
Some feedback is of far greater value to you than the rest. The trick is to sort the wheat from the chaff.
“It takes humility to seek feedback. It takes wisdom to understand it, analyse it, and appropriately act on it.”
Helpful feedback helps you get to where you want to go. Whatever skills you’re busy developing to advance your career, is what you need feedback on. Everything, while maybe interesting, is likely to be irrelevant.
The right feedback, secured at the right time, and shared in the right way, transforms careers. It’s why you want to think of feedback as a valued, albeit sometimes awkward, friend, rather than as a foe.
What are the pieces of feedback you have received throughout the years that have helped you advance on your career path?
October 2023
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