Courage Over Doubt

Three ways to tame your imposter syndrome and boost your confidence

Picture this: You’re at an important meeting. You’re pleased to have a seat at the table, surrounded by accomplished professionals. Yet somewhere deep down you can’t shake this nauseating feeling that you don’t belong here and that you’re about to be exposed as a fraud.

Welcome to the world of Imposter Syndrome. A world that even the most successful people inhabit. 

Imposter Syndrome is, “a false and sometimes crippling belief that your success is the product of luck or fraud, rather than skill,” (the Merriam-Webster dictionary definition). And it can strike regardless of how accomplished or successful you are. 

‘Very few get into the seat believing they’re now qualified to be the CEO. They’re not going to tell you that, but it’s true.’
Howard Schultz, the former Chair& Chief Executive of Starbucks (quote abbreviated) 

‘Every time I’m making a movie, I feel like it’s my first… I always feel they could fire me!’  
Penelope Cruz, multiple award-winning actress (quote abbreviated)

‘I’ve written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now.’ 
Maya Angelou, memoirist, poet, and civil rights activist (quote abbreviated)

While Imposter Syndrome manifests differently in everyone, one thing that seems to hold true is that it festers inside almost all of us. 

“I’ve coached countless professionals, and without fail, confidence issues and self-doubt, the telltale signs of imposter syndrome, have always been part of our discussions. In fact, it’s a tremendous relief for most to realise they’re not alone in silently battling these feelings and more importantly, that there are strategies and coping mechanisms we can all practise.” says Karin Mueller, Founder & CEO at Liebfrog.

The problem with Imposter Syndrome

But feeling ashamed, thinking there's something wrong with us and that others won’t relate we suffer in silence, trying hard to ignore our persistent self-doubt. 

But its mantra is relentless.

“I’m just lucky; it’s not because of my abilities.”

“I’m not as smart as others think I am, should I really be here?” 

“I don’t deserve this success; they’re going to realise I’m a fraud.”

And while that rhetoric may start out as a niggle, it eventually does what anything left to fester does – it grows and turns nasty. 

The confidence conundrum

Eventually those knocks to our confidence start holding us back and we lose the courage we need to seize new opportunities. And there we are in a vicious circle, because our dwindling courage further diminishes our confidence. We play smaller and smaller. 

But there is no confidence without courage. Only when we do things that frighten us at least a little and stretch us beyond our comfort zone we learn and grow our confidence. 

Steven Bartlett, the UK entrepreneur, BBC “Dragon”, and “Diary of a CEO” podcast host, suggests a helpful reframe: to think about your imposter as your personal signal that you are in exactly the right place to embrace a moment of growth: 

“If you’re not feeling like an imposter, you’re likely in your comfort zone, and that’s not where the magic happens.”

- Steven Bartlett

3 practical ways to tame your imposter syndrome and boost your confidence 

Acknowledging an opportunity for growth, and then finding the courage to step up to embrace it, aren’t the same thing. So here are three ways to manage your imposter syndrome, build your resilience, and remain courageous. 

• Notice it. Simply capture your imposter syndrome’s voice by observing yourself and taking notes (journalling). Listen to when and how it speaks to you. Is there any pattern to when it’s loudest? Hint: It’s probably when you are doing something new and a little out there. Ask yourself, ‘would I speak to a friend in this way?’ If you wouldn’t, cut yourself some slack and counter its harsh tones by treating yourself with self-compassion.
  

• Challenge it. Don’t let that vicious voice go unchallenged. Is what it’s saying true? Do you have evidence that would stand up in a courtroom? Chances are you don’t, in which case move on. And if there’s truth (or grains of truth) to what it’s spouting, now’s the time to adopt that growth mindset. Ask yourself, ‘what can I learn from this situation?’ Identify one thing you’d do differently next time, then move on. The imposter syndrome thrives not on failure but on our rumination of it. 
  

• Counter it. Keep a record of your achievements, your personal ‘brag list’ (download your template here). It is a great go-to when your imposter strikes. Reminding yourself of your successes, capabilities, and moments of bravery, will help counter that vicious voice with a more virtuous one. 

We need to start talking about the imposter syndrome. Left unspoken, that vicious voice dents peoples' confidence at best and cripples it at worst. So, if you or your organisation want to give people space to explore their imposter syndrome, its impact on performance, progression, and potential, and what to do about it, then we’d love to chat with you about our ‘time to talk back’ workshop or our one-to-one coaching programmes. 

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