Are you for real???
‘Think of your life as a house. There’s a bedroom for your personal life, a study for your professional life, a playroom for your family life and a living room to share with friends. Can you knock down the walls between these rooms and be the same person in each?’ Bill George uses this lovely analogy to describe what authenticity is in his HBR essay from February 2007, ‘Discovering your authentic leadership’.
This month, I’m exploring the topic because authenticity lays at the heart of effective leadership; determining who we are as leaders and the impact we have.
The Cambridge dictionary defines authenticity as ‘the quality of being real or true’. But in leadership, being real or true doesn’t mean behaving the same way wherever we are and whoever we are with or giving everyone an unfiltered version of ourselves, our thoughts, or our feelings. In fact, that would be careless and largely ineffective.
Let’s stick with George’s analogy for a little longer: As we walk from room to room in our imaginary house, I’m sure we won’t speak to the children in the playroom in the tone, voice, or language we use when in our study, presenting via video call to our board. Authenticity in leadership is audience specific, appropriate, and decent, but critically it’s also consistent. While I may bring different variations of myself, what I say and how I show up is consistent because it’s grounded in my values, purpose, and integrity.
Consistency and authenticity go hand in hand. We know someone is authentic when there are few surprises once we get to know them. What we experience of them in different scenarios is simply another expression of something we’ve already seen.
Being authentic starts by truly understanding who we are and then having the courage to consistently show up that way - even when it’s tough or difficult. It also means we can’t cut out the bits that aren’t comfortable or are less pretty.
That’s not an excuse for bad behaviour, though. Showing up as Bruce Banner on good days but morphing into The Incredible Hulk on a bad one will never be acceptable or helpful. But being vulnerable enough to say, ‘I’m having a bad day so it might be better if I head into that office and work alone’ feels appropriate, decent and authentic.
So, how else does authenticity express itself?
The most authentic leader I ever met…
… was also one of the most successful people I ever worked with. She valued and role-modelled integrity. She walked the talk. She’d never say one thing, then do another. On the rare occasions that happened, she’d always explain what had led her to change her approach. Her openness was remarkable, people trusted her, and she got the best from others. As a result, she had a highly successful career.
The most INauthentic leader I ever met…
… was sadly my boss for a twelve month stint until my own authenticity forced me (and many in my team) to move on. He was like Jekyll and Hyde, two personalities, with the awful one showing up at work. He was all about saving his own skin. You never felt safe because you knew he wouldn’t have your back. We never knew what or who would set him off - or why. It wasn’t just his lack of decency but his volatility that made him inauthentic. He was inconsistent day to day, home to work, person to person.
The most authentic leader I’ve NEVER met…
… this is tough because all we’ve got is someone’s public persona, but one such leader for me is the German football manager for Liverpool, Jürgen Klopp. I’m not a huge football follower, but he used to coach Borussia Dortmund, a team local to where I grew up, so I’ve always kept an eye on what he’s been up to. He genuinely seems to behave consistently and decently. He’s outspoken on what he believes is right or wrong, even when his views might not be popular, and that’s why I imagine what he projects publicly is his authentic self. You can start to get a feel for his leadership in this 12 minute film clip or this article from the University of Winchester.
Authentic leaders know themselves, understand the value they bring and the impact they have, and they do so consistently because they are in fact ‘for real’.
March 2022
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